Saturday, 14 April 2007

Pimp my ride

But before I could get on with the items on my list I had to do something about my bench. It’s been looking decidedly lame for sometime now, Onawind Blue is just too big a girl for those child’s tricycle wheels. They have bent in such a way that, rather then turn, they just drag along the ground ploughing furrows in the lawn. But the lameness hasn’t been so much of a problem as the height. With the boat on the bench I had to climb onto the workmate to access the interior, either that or get her off the bench and onto the ground. One afternoon shuffling around over the wet grass on my knees was enough for me to realise that it wasn’t the most convenient working position.

So I chopped 20 cm off the legs and scavenged some much sturdier wheels from a plastic tractor. I initially received considerable flak from the children who weren’t too pleased to see me sawing through another of their playthings to cannibalise the wheels but I convinced them that it was for the greater good. It will be much more fun playing in the boat than on the tractor, no? And yes, you can have an ice-cream.

The low rider bench goes like a dream and I shall almost certainly be taking Onawind Blue further a field, partly to let the lawn recover but mainly because I can.

I feel rather bad for Unhygenix though. He loved that bench. He has never really seen beyond the bench to the fact that I am building a boat and when he comes round he’d always rather talk about ‘la mesa’ than the work of art that 'the table' supports. When I told him that the bench was only a means to an end and would be chopped up to fuel the launch party barbeque he was horrified. He thought it would be excellent for summer aperitifs or large paellas and the fact that one person could wheel it from one garden to another—from one large lunch engagement to another—thrilled him, so in a weak moment I said that when I had finished he could have it. I don’t think he’ll be best pleased with the chopped version unless he wants a large mobile coffee table—or unless he’s planning on serving authentic Japanese cuisine, which somehow I doubt.

Onawind Blue on her new bench.

Looking back through yesterday’s list I realise that there’s vocabulary that might not be that familiar. I apologise if it’s bemusing, try this link which is where I went when I still thought a bumpkin was just a simple rustic.


Gaff Horse said...

It's brilliant that Unhygenix is far more impressed with the bench than with the boat.
You seem to be making very good progress now, although your To-Do list is still quite daunting.
I have a list if similar length, but all related to my forthcoming visit to Bosnia. But hopefully all will go smoothly. I get back on the 29th, and I'm determined to manage my time in order to get back to the fince for May 2nd - 6th.
I was supposed to attend a workshop in physical theatre this weekend, but went into the barrio on friday, scored a couple of grams, drank loads of champagne and had to sleep most of Saturday to recover. Feeling OK now though, despite the persistently cloudy weather.

Ben Crawshaw said...

Hi Gaff, I was looking at OD yesterday but the photos wouldn't open--I'd be interested to see the ones of the finca.
Hope Bosnia goes well, take it easy won't you, we don't want you fainting etc when you're a long way from home.

Gaff Horse said...

The photos should be ok now. I use a site called to host my pics, and I think it was down for a while yesterday (for site maintenance I suppose) but all seems to be ok again today.
By the way - if you opened an account on OD (you could do FreeOD) you could also note me from there.

Ben said...

That's much better. There're some nice shots.
That's a hefty story about your nephew. Wierd, back in the 80's that could have been the romantic begining to a Jarmusch movie, now it's just tragically misguided.